We all like to make a good impression when it comes to love. We want others to see our best selves, even if it means glossing over a few flaws or past indiscretions. After all, if a potential date seems amazing, we’re likely competing with a lot of other men/ women in getting their attention, so we have to present our best image – usually at the expense of being honest. This is especially true for online dating.
If you’ve spent time online dating, you’ve encountered people who weren’t totally honest in their profiles. Maybe they posted old pictures, or maybe they shaved a few years off their ages. When you met – did you feel a little cheated? Would you have gone out with them if you’d known the truth?
With this in mind, I encourage you to review your current online dating profile and see where you’re being less than honest about who you are. After all, you want someone to love you for the person you are now, not who you’re trying to be or who you were before. And you don’t want to start a relationship with someone who’s questioning what else you might be hiding.
Some areas to consider:
Your photos. Sure, that headshot from your twenties looks great, but is that reflective of who you are now (only with more hair and fewer pounds)? Even if it’s only a few years old, it’s time to take a more current picture (preferably within the last six months). The most common complaint of online daters is that people post old photos – so this will definitely start your date on the wrong foot. If you have plans to lose weight or make other physical changes and are too embarrassed to post your current picture, then don’t create your profile until you are in a place where you’re feeling good about yourself. Remember, being attractive to others comes from having confidence in yourself. Another important note: if the quality of the photo is poor and it looks grainy, others will assume it’s old so don’t post it.
Your age. Have you shaved a couple of years off your age so that you’re not filtered out of searches? Maybe you like to date younger and are afraid most men/ women wouldn’t be interested if they knew the truth. Even though you feel or look younger than you are, it works to your advantage to be honest. Your matches will be more serious about you.
Your income. Both men and women tend to lie about their income. In our society, success is measured by salary and job title, so it’s natural to want to exaggerate. But does this mean you’ll find the person best suited for you? Not everyone is interested in a hefty paycheck – most people prefer attraction and compatibility over career success when it comes to choosing a mate. If you would rather not post your income, then don’t.
Your marital status. Maybe you’re separated but not officially divorced. Be honest in your profile. People you date have a right to know if you’re still entwined in your old life before they dive in to the next chapter with you. Also, if you have children from a previous relationship, it’s good to let your dates know. If your history affects your present, then it’s best to be upfront about your situation.
Your height. This is for the guys. Within a few seconds of meeting you, a woman will know if you lied about your height, even by just a couple of inches. This is because it happens all the time – men tend to add a few inches if they feel it makes them more attractive. Don’t do it. It will turn her off.
Your weight/ body type. This is for the ladies especially. If you have a curvy body, let guys know! Everyone has a different type – and not all men want the skinny blonde girl. (In fact, most men prefer curvy hips like Marilyn Monroe to the thin Rachel Zoe types.) So don’t feel you have to conform to a certain body type. Put yourself out there and the men will come.